Feed and Speed calculator, what the HECK?

I need a good way to calculate feeds and speeds for CNC milling.
The chip load per tooth method in the machinery's handbook is total
crap. Granted I haven't looked in the lastest edition, (24th ed.) but
by their calculations I would be putting a 3/16" endmill through 440
stainless at 7000 rpm and 80 ipm. Right. It lasted about 2 seconds.
Back to guessing.
Where does the depth of cut come in?
Coolant, no coolant?
Lenth of the tool?
There has to be a good FREE, tool out there to do this. Where?
Joe V.